Some Stress Busters For You

Nov 18 2011, 3:38 pm

What are you making for Thanksgiving? I’m making my favorite thing –Reservations.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

WHY doesn’t someone make a riding vacuum cleaner?

Life is sexually transmitted.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

When things don’t go your way –change your way.

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow ‘

WHY do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

I love cooking the Thanksgiving turkey with wine, sometimes I even put some on it.

Why Did Pilgrims’ Pants Always Fall Down?  Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

Some people are like a Slinky … Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quatro Cinco.

What Do You Call Santa’s Helpers?  Subordinate Clauses.

BUSINESS NEWS

3M will merge with Good Year and become MMMGood.

Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become Poupon Pants.

FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become FedUP.

AND finally  I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.